-Tired of having the same old fights with your spouse or life partner that leaves you feeling even more stuck, hurt and alone?
-Coping with the death of a loved one that has turned your life upside down?
-Stressed out with multiple life changes that just leaves you exhausted?
-Feeling stuck in carrying the burden of an outdated childhood role that never seems to end as a grown-up?
If you are facing challenges in finding a lasting emotional connection with your spouse/partner, in feeling stuck in a painful childhood role or if you are experiencing losses and changes in your life that just seem overwhelming, please know that you are not alone!
There is hope! Things can get better!
As a therapist who focuses on the strengthening the connection between couples, finding a clear path to overcome one's childhood wounds and in honoring the experiences of grief, loss and life transitions, I will work with you to help you reach the goals most important to you.
I will help empower you to discover new possibilities-because I believe each individual and couple can access wisdom they can trust, inner strengths they can call upon, and a belief in themselves that they can summon to meet their challenges and get them through tough times!
A Word About Couples:
There is nothing more compelling in couples work than the fight for a secure emotional connection with our spouse or life partner. I honor this most fundamental need for bonding and connection-to have the feeling of safety, security and a place of safe haven with our spouse/partner using the research from Attachment Theory as a road map that is so compelling for the likelihood of success in couples counseling.
In this model-it is the repeated interaction cycles-the unconscious dance that couples do over and over again that keep them stuck and disconnected-that is the real enemy.
Finding new ways to emotionally connect is the hard work of couples therapy-and I honor that process-the fight to stay securely attached to each other during good times and bad-as the most important core issue in couples work.
A Word About Wounded Grown-ups:
In a sense, we are all in recovery from life. We all have sensitivies, past emotional scars and disappointments that have shaped our adult lives. Sometimes, the emotional scars from one's childhood are expressed in roles we took on to help ourselves survive and honor the loyalty to our family. Sometimes, the roles of childhood are so powerful in adulthood that they carry on a legacy that never seems to end-and keeps one feeling stuck in the past.
Even when the emotional wounds from a painful childhood feels like a lifetime burden, things can be different.
Overcoming the legacy of outdated childhood roles and being free to live in the moment takes courage and hard work. I honor the fight to find more clarity, more peace and greater sense of resolution from painful emotional wounds from one's childhood.
For more encouraging words straight from my heart click my article: "6 Simple Ways to Overcome the Legacy of a Dysfunctional and Painful Childhood".
There is nothing more courageous in grief work than the struggle to find some sense of meaning and purpose as a result of a tragic loss that upends one's life. Indeed, a more contemporary view of bereavement is to see it as a "crisis of meaning" that compels us to struggle to find a way to integrate the meaning of a loss into the fabric of our lives.
Sometimes, experiencing a difficult loss can be a life changing experience as one's assumptions about life are challenged like never before. Finding a way to grow as a one travels through his or her grief journey can indeed change one's life in ways that could never have been anticipated.
For example, experiencing an unexpected death of a loved one can help bring a clarity and focus about what is trully most important in life in a way that could not have been discovered previously. Finding meaning and integrating this hard won "sense making" into ones life from something so painful as bereavement is a process that I honor immensely.
Even during the darkest days of grief and bereavement, I know that eventually-it is possible for the dawn of a new day to slowly emerge and bring healing-an appreciation for what was lost and a new appreciation for life perhaps like never before!
Even during times when one's couple relationship seems stuck and hopeless, finding a way back to build the sense of safety, trust and connection is possible. Things really can be different!
Even when outdated childhood roles seem to be a lifetime burden as an adult, a path toward a more hopeful future is always possible. The past does not have to determine your future!
If you desire up-to-date, personalized care that builds on your strengths and life skills, I encourage you to contact Randy to see how he might assist you in achieving your unique goals.
Randy's goal is to help each individual and couple find the hope, healing, and connection they are searching for. After all, there is so much to be hopeful about!
And never forget-an investment in your life is always priceless!.
Important Message: "The Senseless Shootings: How to Talk with Your Children" from Donna Schuurman, Executive Director of The Dougy Center.